Sun is setting….so am I

Standing on the terrace, taking in the beauty that’s spread all around, I feel overwhelmed…

I look at the stupendous sunset and there’s a feeling of closeness, as if that field of vision is just within a palm’s reach, as if as soon as I will approach it…it will come and snuggle into my palm, as if it’s just waiting for someone who would preserve it’s gleam for a while, bring it to a halt…and hide it from this cruel world, as if even it does need someone to snuggle into…

Maybe I could give it the love it craves for….Maybe just a little devotion is all it needs…Maybe even it strives to reach me as hard as I strive to reach it. Umm….maybe the longing is mutual….

As I stare at the sun setting at the horizon…all my pain is gone, my anxiety has vanished…I feel content…I feel satisfied…as if the world is eventually treating me fairly. Dreamily, I try to set off my gaze but my soul resists…resists to get back into that topsy-turvy world…resists to return into that sea of expectations and limits…

That scenic beauty goes right through my eyes to unite with my soul…to heal it a bit and maybe to get a bit healed itself…

This purity that the soul beholds….deserves to be treated with the captivating sight of sunset….deserves to be cured….deserves to be revived……

I feel this is how it was meant to be…this is how our soul was destined to get along with the physical life without being devastated and shattered. I feel this love that Nature offers us every now and then, by different means-by sunset, for instance-is just a process to revive and purify the soul. Some unspoken law of Universe, maybe.

Gazing at the same sunset from a bridge…I observe the golden pearls, shed down by the sun, on the water surface….enlightening each drop of the river. It feels surreal. It often seems to be the pixie dust to me….the blessed pixie dust that rests on surface till the fairies arrive, after the sunset so that no one could spot them, and retrieve it from each and every droplet. I love to think of the sunset as a source of the golden dust which can, in a way, take you to the sun. It’s as if the sun’s beckoning to us.

This implies that the sun gives an equal opportunity to all of our souls to connect with the sun…only if we crazy creature, i.e., humans, could realize it….but fairies, I believe, must be knowing this all….and that’s why, in the silence and darkness of the night, they fetch this golden path that leads to a peaceful soul…

I feel a wave of excitement rush through my veins, as if all of a sudden I’ve been set free…as if I’ve overpowered that incarceration, as if I’ve stepped out of all boundations….as if, for the very first time, I’ve been blessed with a soul….the soul, that was smothered in that confinement…

Out of the blue, I sense that my eyes are closed…My soul crept back in time, back to that railing on the bridge, back to the pixie dust…reliving all those mesmerizing moments and feeling those dark rays of dusk on my soul….

I gently open my eyes…I feel full of love. The sun’s gone, for good. I know it’s hiding…just like me, but…we are not escaping…we are not quitting…just hiding….for a while, maybe. It’s hidden..but my turn is to face the world. But I know…next evening when it shows up…it will be my turn to hide, again. I’ll again be standing at the same corner on the terrace…hiding from the world…and trying to find myself somewhere at the horizon…..

Ineffably Pluviophile….

Rain…I have a totally different outlook for the word….It’s not just a season for me, not just a process of nature…not just the perspiration of clouds…

I feel, every raindrop brings with itself..a different emotion..

Emotion…of love, of purity, of despair, of joy….and so many others…maybe of which we are’nt even aware…

I feel these droplets connect my soul to the Universe..to the Supreme Being…

As I get drenched in the rain…feeling each droplet…I love to believe that Universe is trying to communicate with my soul…that if I need to free myself of any emotion….be it of love or of dismay…Universe is ready to help me…..to take it all away and to refill my soul with what I am willing to receive…

I love to believe that it’s all upto me…to receive those positive vibes..on my own will. Only if I am ready…only if I can free my soul…only if I don’t turn those vibes into negative ones because of those impurities of my soul which I don’t let go…which I deliberately don’t let Universe take away….

Holding on to our emotions, even if of love and happiness, won’t work any way. We need to refresh them from time to time…or eventually that essence of love will be lost…And I believe that’s why Nature has gifted us with Monsoon…with rain……

It’s said that it rained for several years on earth before living things existed..apparently to cool it down since it was too hot to support the survival..and to make it suitable for the existence of life…..

But think of it this way…

Maybe Universe had a hidden motive behind this…

Maybe it rained because Universe wanted to nurture our Mother Nature with emotions…to pour happiness on every surface…to furnish the core with love…..and the flowers, the trees, the oceans, the clouds, the mountains, the deserts..are all a result of that nourishment..that love….

Maybe it rained to pour ample love on the earth…

And now the affection we receive from our nature is just a fragment of that love…that devotion….

I love to believe that the petrichor is the fragrance of love…the love that Universe once bestowed…but which is worn-out with time..and so, needs to be refreshened….

I love to believe that the petrichor is a signal that Universe is ready…to revive the love….to rescue the soul……

Anyone else who would love to believe in my beliefs…??

To the moon and back again…

As I look towards the moon…I feel a sudden irresistible urge…to feel it, to embrace it, to be able to lean over it…

Those twinkling stars soothe me, attract me and make my soul shine a little brighter…

I stand still…staring at the moonlit sky, sometimes counting the stars, sometimes making some shape out of them….but never letting my gaze shift downwards….I feel lost..yet my soul is at peace…as if I’ve just found my ikigai…

Sometimes…I wish I could be a star..and then I wonder what it would feel like to be one…to be hung up high in the sky…with millions of other stars….to be so close to the moon…to twinkle…..

Would it still heal my soul….would I still be mesmerized by that twinkle…would I still want to be a part of that crazy shape I had made out of them…would I still want to lean on the moon…would I still want to capture a shooting star…

Would I still want to be a star of someone’s luck….

Would I still dote on that sight, I wonder, once I become a part of it….

Maybe it’s only the sight that I desire…Maybe just admiring it is all I need….Maybe this desire to feel the moon gives it a closure…Maybe it’s the urge to feel this desire that cures my heart…Maybe it’s destined to be incomplete…

Maybe that’s why it’s beautiful….

Maybe that’s why it’s pure……